When the kids were little it seemed like things never ran smoothly. The bills were hard to pay, something was always broken, dishes and laundry seemed to multiply by the minute. I would tell Ran (the hubby) that I couldn’t wait for the day to come when I could say “I’ll be back, I am off to play tennis with the girls!”. At that point, the Tennis Moms were the ones killing it at life!
Unfortunately for me, it seemed like I was constantly surrounded by people who had their ‘stuff’ together. The life of everyone around me seemed like it was perfect. Yay for them, however, I was totally struggling with feeling like I was the only person who forgot to pay the electric bill. I would tell myself “That’s okay, my kids and Ran really seem to enjoy the all-too-frequent No Electricity Camp Out Nights in our living room”. As the kids made their candlelight s’mores, I would find myself sitting there thinking “If only…”.
Yesterday, my friend and I were having lunch, recounting the times it seemed like we were always behind everyone else in accomplishments. However, our kids played on the best teams (not cheap), attended private school (not cheap), and were able to participate in camps and other activities (not cheap). I look back on that time and have no idea how we afforded all of that? Priorities, I guess. We didn’t have a fancy house at all. We did not even have flooring at one point. To make due, I painted the concrete (pre Joanna Gaines!). I say that to let you and others know it is about what’s important to you, not about stuff or status. Just because I wasn’t out there killing it on the tennis court doesn’t mean I wasn’t killin it at life!
I feel like we all get into what I call an Accomplishment Cycle - waiting to achieve the next thing or to feel like we should be further along by now. I believe we are all striving to achieve the next level whether we realize it or not, and it is so easy to compare your life to someone else’s. When we are 40 we look at that 30 year old and think they are so together. When we are 30 we look at the 20 year old and think “Man I am so far behind. That 20 year old has it all together”. What I did not realize was that God has put us all on unique paths! I believe we have all struggled with self-doubt and the “if I had only” self-detriment talk. In short: STOP IT! Cut yourself some slack! You would not be the person you are today if you had lived life like someone else. You are a unique and perfect you.
20+ years later, I still have not played tennis with the girls. However, I have no regrets (other than I would probably be skinnier if I had. haha). I feel like we should just stop trying to do what others do because they seem to have “it all together”. Let your life shine by doing the things that you do and influencing the lives you touch. Quit trying to achieve something that is not really a heart’s desire for you. Whether you are killing it on the tennis court or killing it at living room camp outs, just know you are right where you are supposed to be, even if you do not realize it at the time.
X, Jen